obama you my nigga

batteur:

ah yes I’ve just thought the perfect sassy answer to that horrible thing someone said to me 4 years ago

nyannerz:

ive come here to receive a rub

meladoodle:

try to close someone’s eyes like a corpse when you’re bored of talking to them

lamelohan:

it seems like the only thing that is truly attracted to my face is acne 

lamelohan:

it seems like the only thing that is truly attracted to my face is acne 

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

academically:

when people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom

image

image

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation
Puppy don’t care
Puppy’s got stuff to do
Puppy’s got places to be
Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation

Puppy don’t care

Puppy’s got stuff to do

Puppy’s got places to be

Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

tennants-hair:

do u ever see a blue crayon and you pick it up and start colouring the sky or the sea

and it’s fucking purple

sheepalicious:

takeawaysthepain:

nentindo:

how do beliebers still even exist

How do dumbasses still exist?

thats literally the exact same question

sheepalicious:

takeawaysthepain:

nentindo:

how do beliebers still even exist

How do dumbasses still exist?

thats literally the exact same question